If you’re ever asked to speak anywhere, and there is someone who’ll introduce you, make sure you write your own introduction. Don’t leave it until the day and have a word in the chairman’s ear.

He or she will inevitably get it wrong. They’ll mangle your name, make up stuff that will embarrass you, and generally make a mess of your introduction.

Stand up comedian required

I was once introduced at business meeting by a lady who said:

‘Please welcome Alan Fairweather who I hear is very funny!’

The thing was that I wasn’t prepared to be funny; I believed they wanted some useful business advice, not a comedy turn.

I certainly learned from that one. (And yes; I am funny!)

Type it

Write out your introduction exactly as you want it to be heard – large type, double spaced and easy to read. Underline any points you want empathised and explain what you want to the chairman.

This is no guarantee of success however; I attended a recent event where I was the main speaker. I offered my introduction to the chairman and he said:

‘It’s all right, I won’t need that I’ve already done some research on you and I’ve written your introduction.’

Nothing I could do about it; so he went on to introduce me as Alan Taylor in a way that even I didn’t know who he was talking about.

You have been warned!